Must we repent to attain forgiveness?
Father, forgive them…”
LUKE 23:34
When Jesus hung on the cross, bloodied and broken.
He looked at the people who were killing him…
and asked God to forgive them.
It was one of the most powerful moments in Scripture.
The most profound.
The most amazing.
But what did he mean?
Were they instantly forgiven?
Or was Jesus showing us something deeper…
Something we need to understand about how forgiveness works in our own lives?
Forgiveness Responds to Repentance
Forgiveness isn’t a blanket statement we toss over sin.
In the Bible, it’s always a response to something…
Repentance.
When someone wrongs us…
and they genuinely say…
“I’m sorry” …
We have the opportunity to say…
“I forgive you.”
That mutual exchange is what opens the door to reconciliation and healing.
Without both…
The relationship stays broken.
Jesus, in his mercy, prayed for his executioners.
But he didn’t say, “You are forgiven.”
He said, “Father, forgive them.”
He was asking God to be willing…
To keep the door open…
Waiting for them to one day repent.
God’s Pattern for Salvation
This is the same pattern God uses with us.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.”
1 JOHN 1:9
God is always ready to forgive…
But he doesn’t force it on us.
He waits for our repentance.
Our turning back to him.
Our free will.
Then…
And only then…
Are we reconciled with him as his beloved children.
Should We Forgive Without Repentance?
Some say yes.
But Scripture paints a more thoughtful picture.
When Peter asked Jesus…
“How many times should I forgive?”
Jesus replied,
“Seventy-seven times.”
MATTHEW 18:21–22
But Luke includes an important detail Matthew leaves out:
“If they repent, forgive them.”
LUKE 17:4
In Jewish tradition…
And in Jesus’ own teachings…
Repentance was always the key to forgiveness.
Without it…
Forgiveness becomes hollow.
What If They Never Say Sorry?
This is where many of us wrestle.
What happens when the person who hurt us never repents?
Here’s the good news…
Even when someone refuses to say sorry…
You don’t have to stay bitter.
Paul says:
“Do not take revenge…leave room for God’s wrath.”
ROMANS 12:19
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbour as yourself. I am the Lord.
LEVITICUS 19:18
Reminds us not to bear a grudge.
We are called to love our neighbour as ourselves…
Which includes telling the truth about what hurt us
Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbour frankly so you will not share in their guilt.
LEVITICUS 19:17
But also letting go of the poison of bitterness.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting…
Or excusing what happened.
It means handing it over to God.
You may never hear “I’m sorry,”…
But you can still choose peace.
Forgiveness vs Letting Go
It’s important to understand the difference.
- Forgiveness, biblically, is what we give in response to repentance.
- Letting go of bitterness is something we do for our own spiritual health, even if the other person never repents.
Some extraordinary people do offer pre-emptive forgiveness.
Jesus did.
But even he didn’t say to his killers…
“I forgive you.”
He knew that forgiveness without repentance was incomplete.
God doesn’t expect superhuman strength from us…
But he does invite us to release the anger that would otherwise consume us.
When Forgiveness Is Difficult
Forgiving someone…
Even after they repent…
Can be deeply painful…
Especially in cases of betrayal.
Abuse
Trauma.
Healing can be slow.
Call on the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.
Speak to a pastor.
A counsellor.
Someone you trust.
Remember…
Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation.
You can forgive someone…
And still set healthy boundaries.
In some cases…
Reconciliation may not be safe…
Or even wise.
God’s Forgiveness Is Waiting
People sometimes ask, “Why doesn’t God just forgive everyone?”
Here’s the beautiful truth:
He already made forgiveness available to alL…
Through the cross.
It’s a gift offered freely.
But like any gift…
It has to be received.
“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
ROMANS 5:8
The moment we repent…
Truly turn back…
His forgiveness is activated.
That’s when we’re saved.
Renewed.
And welcomed into his family.
Until then…
The offer still stands, waiting.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve hurt someone…
Go and repent.
If someone has repented to you…
Offer forgiveness…
As Christ forgave you.
And if you’re holding onto bitterness…
Let go.
Not for their sake…
But for yours.
Forgiveness isn’t always easy.
But it is powerful.
It brings us closer to God
It’s how we reflect the heart…
Of the one who forgave us first.
Our Saviour.
Our Master.
Our Lord.
LET US PRAY:
HOLY FATHER HELP US TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE BETRAYED AND HURT US, AS YOU FORGIVE US EACH AND EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY. HELP US TO LOVE YOU MORE OH LORD AND HELP US TO SHOW OUR LOVE OF YOU BY LOVING AND FORGIVING OTHERS. IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME WE PRAY. AMEN
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